#142 Things to share over coffee: December 2024

A list of what I've been watching, listening, reading and thinking about this month.

Hello friend,

The other day, I asked my young son about friendship. I said, "If you are friends with someone and don’t see them for a long time, are you still friends? Even though you aren’t in contact? Can you still be friends?"

He immediately responded, of course, you are still friends.

But then added rather wisely. But it also depends on the other person if they think you are still friends, you are friends.

This time of year, I’m always filled with mixed feelings. I miss my friends and family. Yes, I have my in-laws, but something is always missing. While I have made many acquaintances, I have never made any true friends here in Italy. And, of course, it pains me to no end to be away from my mother, even more so since my father passed away a few years ago. I’m holding her near my heart at this time of year.

So, I’m letting you know that if we were friends and we’ve been out of touch over the years, then for me, we are still friends, and we always will be.

And in these strange times where we talk to strangers on the internet, they too become friends.

Above all my gentle readers, who are my special confidants, who have helped me, reassured me and given me support during the year. I appreciate you and really love your comments that have touched my heart and stroked my ego. You have helped sustain me during the year and given me energy when I needed it. Thank you for your trust and friendship.

My watching habits have been erratic at best this month. While I have cancelled most of my streaming services, I did, however, have to renew my Amazon Prime subscription simply because I order many things online. Of course, to make things easier for Christmas, I chose to renew my subscription for this month.

So this month I saw a few movies on Amazon Prime here in Italy. Surprisingly enough, there are a lot of older movies on Amazon Prime, apart from the usual selection of new Christmas movies that have come out over the past couple of months.

As a result, I watched a holiday favourite this month, like I do most years: I re-watched the 2000 version of The Grinch. I was reminded of the great makeup, beautiful attention to production design, genuine sense of mischief from the original Dr. Seuss book, and corny physical slapstick acting from Jim Carrey.

Then, I randomly re-watched the classic 1983 comedy-drama The Big Chill. I was recently reminded of the soundtrack, so I went back and rewatched the movie. I was so happy to be reminded of the wonderful ensemble cast, which included Glen Close, William Hurt, Kevin Klein, Jeff Goldberg, Tom Behringer, Meg Tilly, and others.

I was happily reminded that the Big Chill was just a lovely movie about friendship, life, death, suicide, and, above all, a heartfelt story about getting older and dealing with life. As a result, I have also been re-listening to the soundtrack, which has great songs from the 1970s that reflect the golden age of Motown and the music of that period.

I also noticed that Challenges, a tennis movie starring Zendaya, Josh O’Connor, and Mike Faist, was on Amazon Prime. The director Luca Guadagnino made a beautiful movie about the sport, obsession and dedication. It is dedicated to the beauty and tensions of the sport. A fascinating love triangle between the three protagonists results in the most wonderful tension, and the rally at the movie's end is breathtaking. I enjoyed it.

I’ve been spending a lot of time inside because it’s been so freezing cold and continuously raining here in Sicily. I find myself dedicating a lot of time to listening to different playlists on Spotify.

This week, for example, I’ve been dedicating my time to a playlist titled Christmas Playlist 2024. It combines classic Christmas tunes with contemporary holiday vibes, and it's been great fun.

I’ve also created a playlist of Christmas songs that I love. I’ve titled it Christmas Songs to Love, and I will share it here if you care to listen. My playlist combines some of the stuff that would be on a classic Christmas playlist with a few Australian artists that I love to listen to at this time of year, including Paul Kelly, Missy Higgins, and Tim Minchin.

I've also been tidying up my liked songs list on Spotify because I found during the year I have liked a lot of songs, but I’ve never really listened to them. So I just went back and deleted the songs off my playlist and added some songs that I had forgotten about, so now I can happily just hit play on my liked songs list. There are currently 357 songs, which I hope to whittle down to a smaller number, and perhaps I will make a new playlist to share someday soon.

As for podcasts, I have been keeping up with the ABC Australia podcast Not Stupid with Jeremy Fernandez and Julia Baird. It’s a fun, witty, and informative current affairs podcast that explores current events and curiosities. The concept that there is no such thing as a stupid question is based on this excellent concept.

The Not Stupid podcast has also created a playlist, which I’ve happily listened to over the past few weeks. It’s a compilation of great songs to dance to and mood boosters to help you change your mood and feel energised. It’s been great fun to listen to their playlist. I will link it below.

On the audiobook front, I’m still working through Miriam Margolyes's memoir This Much is True.

It is a wonderfully in-depth, honest, variegated and hilarious jaunt through the memories and lifetime of English actress and legend Miriam Margolyes. It’s filled with remarkable stories about her theatre, radio and film work and personal anecdotes about her friends and acquaintances.

It is lovely to hear it being retold through the Author’s voice since she started her career as an actress on the radio. It is truly a delight to spend time with Miriam.

I still have five hours and eight minutes left in Miriam’s company, and I’m a little sad to think that our time together will end, but it has been astounding, and I’ve loved every minute of it.

Well, I finally finished reading Hemingway‘s A Movable Feast and have started a new book. I adore Hemingway‘s writing and have ordered several more of his books.

But I think I may go back and reread A Movable Feast because it’s such a delightful novella about his early career living and working as a starving artist in Paris.

This mini-memoir gives you a real sense of his personality and charisma. However, I don’t think I’ll have the same satisfaction with his other books, which deal with larger, more epic themes and ideas such as war and conflict.

I started reading Fyodor Dostoyevsky‘s novella White Nights this past week. I’m about 3/4 of the way through, and I can tell that Dostoyevsky will become one of my favourite authors.

The writing is just a chef's kiss if you can use that expression to describe writing. It's quirky, passionate and almost dream-like in certain places.

The characters are two young, passionate outcasts who live very lonely lives. Yet they both have this deep, poetic, intellectual interior life. Their mental and emotional lives are so rich, yet their actual lives are so insular and restricted.

It’s amazing how Dostoevsky creates this somewhat romantic link between these frustrated people's real lives and their fantasies. I still haven’t finished reading it, but I hope to update you next month.

I am a huge fan of Australian artist, singer, and songwriter Nick Cave. I started listening to his music as a teenager and have never stopped, even today.

This year, I have subscribed to his newsletter, The Red Hand Files, which he uses to respond to letters and questions from his fans. I relish reading his intimate, well-thought-out, and honest responses to their questions every week.

Here is a favourite quote from Nick Cave that I recently read from his Red Hand files about the power of live music.

“Live music is a ritual that evokes a common emotional response to which we attach our singular experiences. When I perform on stage, I can see these unique and particular feelings play out on each face. This is one of the great privileges of being a frontman, and it is why I spend so much time close to the audience. I love to watch the emotions on people’s faces - joy, sorrow, yearning, laughter, fear, rage. The concert becomes powerfully and empathetically transactional as we experience together the therapeutic nature of the music. As the show evolves, a to-ing and fro-ing of kindness emerges, energised by our mutual regard, and the healing begins.

A live concert can feel overwhelming, even frightening, because its emotional power can suddenly bring our most buried experiences to the surface. But feelings are meant to be felt - that’s what they are for. We heal by acknowledging our emotions and test our heart’s resilience by lingering within the unbearable. It is something music can help us do. We find our hearts are much stronger than we presumed, and what we thought was unbearable was nothing of the sort. Music draws forth these subterranean feelings and simultaneously rescues us from them.”

• Nick Cave Red Hand Files: issue 306 December 2024

  

  

  Digital collage © Rochelle Del Borrello 2024

I have been working afternoons as an English tutor through the last week before Christmas. The final lessons before the Christmas vacation have been made up of cut lesson plans, all based on the theme of Christmas.

With my young kids, we’ve been discussing Christmas traditions, food, and its origins.

However, with my teenage students, I decided to do a lesson around Charles Dickens, particularly his short classic Christmas novella A Christmas Carol. The lesson plan I downloaded from an online English as a second language resources library included a section about Charles Dickens‘s life and influence.

Now, apparently, apart from being one of the most famous and preeminent Victorian authors and celebrities, he was actually the person who invented the concept of a modern Christmas.

Before Dickens and his Christmas Carol, Christmas was not celebrated as it is nowadays. Dickens introduced the idea of a Christmas celebration that included a sumptuous sit-down meal, the decoration of a Christmas tree, sending out Christmas cards, and even the idea of a white Christmas.

So before Dickens, Christmas as we know it never really existed. All I can say is thank goodness for Charles Dickens. It’s incredible how outstanding art can influence the world on levels beyond imagination.

Austin Kleon’s creative newsletter always reassures me. Austin is a New York Times best-selling Author of books such as Still Like an Artist, Show Your Work, and Keep Going.

His books are creative Bibles for anyone who wants to pursue a creative career. They are filled with inspiring ideas, resources, and reassuring concepts whenever an artist or creative is in doubt.

Every week in his newsletter, he publishes a list of 10 things he thinks are worth sharing creative inspiration within the world of music, art, literature, or illustration that serve as a font of advice and ongoing weekly inspiration to anyone interested.

This week, he reminds us of how the Christmas holiday period, instead of being a kind of no man’s land it really should be treated as a time of rest and restoration. So, like a helpful mentor, Austin reminds us. to take the time to recharge. He writes:

“Dead week” is the no-man’s land between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. I used to dread this time of year, but now I look forward to it as a time when nobody expects much of you, and nothing you do matters that much. It’s a great time to rest, recover, and relax.”

So here’s hoping to get some well-earned rest and recuperation over the next couple of weeks. Because here in the northern hemisphere, the academic year hasn’t finished, we only get a couple of weeks off for Christmas, just enough time to overindulge over Christmas and New Year’s and then get back to work again.

Thank you so much for reading along. I hope you enjoy these things to share over a nice cup of coffee. I look forward to writing more of these posts.

I will see you in the New Year.

Take care of yourself, and thanks for letting me share my mind.

Regards from

Rochelle

Sometimes, I talk about Sicily.

Other times, I talk about whatever is on my mind.

My writing is always about lightning, the mental load, and sharing my thoughts.

I hope you enjoy the randomness of A Load Off My Mind.

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