#15 On being a magpie

settling into the family

I am a magpie, collecting shiny, beautiful things for my nest. I pick and choose whatever takes my fancy, grabs my imagination or catches my eye. I sort through the random pieces and connect them. I am the glue that puts everything into a coherent whole.

These stones picked up along the path, made from my own sense of direction. A black sheeps wreckless pathway is what makes my art. Everything is filtered through my eyes, my brain and my experiences. This makes it all so beautiful; everything comes from the soul.

I love taking photos, but I hate being the subject of them. I'm never happy with pictures of myself, I always see something I don't like. Minor faults like frizzy hair, double chin, and puffy eyes, there is always something. So I will work on myself, trying to accept what I see.

My body is doing a good job; my home has kept me alive, moving and creating. I've been through much change and trauma, but my body has kept me safe and thriving. I want to be more accepting of my shell. Perhaps now and then, try to take a better selfie to celebrate me. I haven't changed my profile picture for years, as I never find the time to take a new one. I need a good few hours to do my hair and make-up and choose something to wear. And then I need to get out my tripod, ring light and take numerous shots in different parts of my house. I do everything by myself, so it's tiresome.

I'm thinking of getting some headshots done with local photographers. There is one photographer that I like. But then I think, am I just being vain? Am I a narcissist? The fact that I have just typed that phrase probably excludes me from the narcissist genre as the last thing a narcissist would do is admit he is one!

Anyway, I am working on my strange stage fright, pushing through, puffing my chest out, trying to be honest and working on my smile. Taking up space because that's what life is all about.