#79 The trials of raising a bilingual child in small-town Italy
Hello Friend,
I'm raising my child to speak English in Italy, not just anywhere in Italy but, to be precise, in a small town in Sicily.
Unlike the major cities on the boot like Rome, Milan or even Palermo, with large expat communities and international English schools, I'm the only English speaker in my local community, even in my own family.
This is great if you want an ESL tutoring monopoly, but it can be isolating and intimidating when you want your child to be fluent in your native language. I feel Italian always gets the upper hand over English, but after 14 years of battling, it seems my struggles are showing excellent results.
After pigheadly sticking to my guns in the past, arguing with my in-laws and other people around me who thought I'd delay my son's speaking, confuse him by mixing two languages, and give him problems at school with his dication and reading.
I'm proud to say I've been speaking English to him since he was born; he has never been confused, began reading at the same time as his classmates and is conversing well in both languages, apart from a slight Italian accent, due to a lack of interaction with other English speakers.
To make it through the journey, which is by no means over, I've done an endless amount of reading on how children acquire different languages, and the most effective method, which is the one I have used, is the 'one speaker one language' system. When a father and mother speak their two different languages, each chooses to communicate in their native language exclusively to the child.
It’s important that the child understands they need to speak only one language to one of the parents, if the child doesn’t speak back in English it means you are probably spending too little time with the child or he or she isn’t getting enough exposure to the language. I know it’s hard for working parents to pursue this method but it can be helped along with English playgroups, more online materials like video and songs or even introducing an English speaking Nanny or au pair.
Experts suggest that a third language can be introduced by the child spending a certain amount of time with a nanny, grandparents or a playgroup that exposes them to another language, which brings in another tongue through socialising and play. A parent and child can also learn a third language together at home or through travel experiences.
The idea of two languages is confusing enough for me but not for my son Matthias, who seems to have handled it all with great finesse. It has been difficult to speak English to a child surrounded by Italian speakers in Italy.
Occasionally, I shift back and forth as we find ourselves in the presence of other people who don't understand us or in general conversation. Still, when we are alone, it's all English, and I find he automatically speaks to me in English when he talks to me.
The real challenge for me was how to expose my son to English. I've had to look into many sources, such as TV programs, DVDs, YouTube videos and podcasts. My son does not speak English with other children as there are no expats where we live in provincial Sicily.
Finding resources here in Italy has never been easy in the past, so trips home to Australia always led me to stock up on things like DVDs and books. It's much easier today to keep my now teenage English speaker engaged and keeping up with his English. Thanks to online streaming services like Amazon Prime, Netflix and Disney Plus.
At first, I used iTunes to download helpful cartoons or podcasts to develop my child's interest in words and language, and places like Book Depository (now defunct) and Amazon were great sources for physical books, which are of fundamental importance to encouraging early learning.
It is usual for one language to dominate over the next, especially when living in a country where it is the predominant language spoken. Still, it is essential to nurture both languages, use them, and make them interchangeable and natural for the child.
Despite my worries, I am persistently surprised when Matty understands complicated instructions in English and how he says one word in Italian and the next in English. He easily translates for his father, who doesn't speak English, and he is proud when his classmates ask him to help them with their English homework. He speaks with a hefty Italian accent but can hear when something is mispronounced. I guess persistence is the key, and it is essential not to lose energy or focus, as language acquisition is like a game for the child. So take a deep breath and try to keep up the enthusiasm.
Since my son only speaks English with me, I've been careful to make sure he interacts with English as often as he can, which means Skype calls with his grandmother, trips to Australia, plenty of movies and documentaries in English and above all, many English language books.
Matthias loves wildlife documentaries, so we have acquired a collection of BBC World DVDs, and like most other boys, he has been through phases where he has wanted to learn about everything from Dinosaurs to Sharks. I have also used his interests and passions to encourage his love of English. Everything from ancient history to the Second World War and military history; my son's new interest has presented a new way of introducing language and vocabulary to him.
My son loves words and stories; whenever he hears a new word in English or Italian, it will immediately spark his interest, and he will ask its meaning.
Since he is now a teenager, he loves his iPad, phone and computer; he picks up a lot from messaging on his games and online videos.
When he was younger, bedtime stories were sacred, but he's getting too old for bedtime stories, so we have been having long talks before bed where he shares the story of his day, or I tell him something else that has happened to me.
I encourage him to read so he can choose a book to read over the summer for Christmas and Easter. I generally try to wrangle him to sit down at least once a week to do some reading activity or discussion in English. Many online ESL resources exist, but the best two for older learners are linguahouse.com and breakingnewsenglish.com. The first is a subscription service with endless resources for all English learning levels, from English for kids and current events-inspired lessons to business and medical English.
Breaking News English is a great free source where you can read about events in the news and discuss them through lessons at beginner, intermediate and advanced levels. Both are great for teenage learners who are curious about the world around them.
Whilst his spoken English is quite good, the next challenge is to work on his written language. Since he has chosen a Liceo-style high school, generally seen as a preparation for higher education, he will also be expected to study some English Literature. As a Lit major at University, I'm looking forward to helping him to negotiate things like Shakespeare and Dickens.
As your child grows and develops, you must adapt your methods according to their interests, attention span and personal development. Every child is different, so be persistent, and language acquisition will eventually manifest.
If you are teaching your child another language, let me know what stage of the bilingual journey you are in with your child, and let's compare notes.
Wishing everyone on a bilingual journey with their child or through learning a language themselves the best possible experience.
The trick is always persisting and giving all your attention in the moment.
Please don't get discouraged; it takes a lifetime to learn and master a language truly.
Give yourself a break.
Your friend
Rochelle