#21 In the dark

100 shades of Sicily

Hello friend,

I hope you are doing well. I'm running a little late with my newsletter this week through no fault of my own, but I'm living with all of the mishaps and speed bumps as best I can.

The week ended with the power going off unexpectedly in my small Sicilian town, leaving me in the dark and stressed. Just as I was sitting down to write.

Then when it did come back on, I went onto my computer to open the file where I usually save a copy of this newsletter and found the folder empty.

My heart stopped as I couldn't find anything of my work from the last few months. It turns out that my son, who I had permitted to use my computer, had taken it upon himself to liberate a little more space on the computer so he could download a new game. He had deleted everything I had on Google drive. I could have killed him. I lost ten years of my life but managed to undo the damage without any problems. So someone is getting their own computer and I am backing things up in many different places simultaneously.

This week we are still having problems with the power, as we are now scheduled to have everything turned off on Monday as they work on general maintenance. So I am speeding my way through this newsletter, to get it all done before I am in the dark again.

Hope your week is going better than mine.

Please take a deep breath with me now, let all the frustrations go and work through it all. 

Gesualdo Bufalino wrote about Sicily's many different faces. He was fascinated by the multifaceted nature of the island, filled with many paradoxes and contrasting elements that often exist side by side. 

The complexity and instability of the island's cultural history have created a mysterious place which is difficult to define.

Bufalino says there are so many Sicilies we can never finish counting them.

There is the green of the carob trees, the whites of the salt pans, the yellow of the sulphur mines, the golden colour of Sicilian honey, and the purplish colour of the lava flows of Etna. 

There is a certain Sicilia' babba', so laid back as to seem stupid, a Sicilia' sperta' or sly, capable of unspeakable acts of violence and fraud. 

There is a lazy Sicily, a frantic one, one that is fixated on the accumulation of property and wealth, one that acts out life like a Carnival character, one which lives in a whirlwind of delirium.

Why so many Sicilies? Because Sicily has had the destiny to find itself on the edge of great western and eastern cultures near the temptations of the desert and the sun, between reason and magic, the climate of sentiment and the heatwave of passion.

Sicily suffers from an excess of identity, unsure whether it is good or bad. Indeed, for those born here, the happiness of feeling like you are sitting on the belly button of the world doesn't last long. The feeling of complacency is quickly replaced by the suffering of not knowing how to untangle yourself from the thousands of twists and knots of bloodlines that make up the thread of its destiny.

There are so many other Sicilies; we will never finish counting them all.

So many different colours, textures, contexts, stories, landscapes and histories to witness the island has a boundless personality which is both exhausting and enthralling at the same time.

Sicily is a wonderful font of inspiration but can also be tiring and overwhelming. Sometimes you need to stop, close your eyes and have a break from being constantly stimulated. When you need to step back from social media, it's a good idea to step back from the island and think of something else.

It is good to have a break from Sicily every once in a while. I enjoy changing time zones, hemispheres and seasons by going back to Australia every once in a while. It was horrible during the pandemic when unable to take a break. I felt a little sad and burnt out without a pause from Sicily. 

The temptation of Sicily is powerful; the island is seeped in a certain magic. A spell that makes it easy to get lost inside the everyday labyrinth of small communities and yearly rituals. It's easy to forget the outside world and feel like you have reached nirvana. The pressures of the rat race are so far away, and you have gotten used to a certain pace of life. It is easy to slumber in Sicily's arms, forget about everything and deny inevitable mortality.

It is always good to visit my friends and family in Australia or become reacquainted with a nation that has become my long-lost friend. The life of an ex-pat is a strange existence, you are gradually enveloped by the culture and routine of your adopted home, but your other home is always at the back of your mind.

I've never been one to abandon my original home completely. I have a foot in Australia and another in Italy. Visiting Australia is always invigorating; to go from an old country to a young one is like a bolt of energy. Being away, I forget many things and am constantly reminded of what I love, appreciate and miss.

For now, I'm in Sicily, trying to navigate its schizophrenic personality, sometimes clashing with some big culture shock moments as always and giving myself permission to rest, fail, learn and grow through life.

I hate to be long-winded, so I will stop here now.

I'll keep trying to write something worthwhile here every week, perhaps more often if I get in some karmic writing zone.

Thanks for subscribing, and be sure to send this to a friend or someone you think might enjoy it.

Speak again soon.

With love and light from RDB

P.S.: If you are enjoying this free newsletter, why not consider subscribing to my paid version too, which is currently dedicated to my travel memoir, Sicilian Descent. You will get a weekly serialised version of my book exclusively for you. 

If you have already become a paid subscriber, then thanks a million! I'll get back to work and stop reminding you about updating your subscription.

No worries if you can't chip in or don't feel like doing so, but please consider forwarding this to a friend or two. It's a big help.