#8 Things to share over coffee

a chatty weekly catch-up post

Hello friend,

Here are ten things I want to share with you this week. A quick little chatty catch up with Sunday brunch coffee. Hope your week was busy, productive and filled with beautiful things. If not, then I’m sure we can take baby steps towards a better week, together.

1. A letter from me

Honestly, this week has been a bit of a shit show. 

Last week I was so on top of everything I managed to balance writing with everyday life. I was sticking to my routine of exercising, housework, parenting, writing, meditating, ticking off everything on my to-do list, and even drinking eight glasses of water per day. I was crushing it.

But this week, oh boy, it's been the opposite. I dropped every single ball, including balls I weren't even juggling in the first place. Then when I tried to pick them up again, they bounced off the ground and hit me in the face. So I got frustrated and angry at myself, grumpy at everyone around me, and then just threw them all up in the air and decided it wasn't going to happen this week.

At first, I felt guilty about resetting everything; I wanted to go back to last week. I chastised myself, telling myself I was just a big fat lazy procrastinator. But when I heard my inner critic, I realized how mean I was to myself. So I took a moment to reset. I know not every day is going to be a good one. There will always be frustrations, but I do not need to blame myself. Often we are mean to ourselves. So I'm cutting this girl a break. I don't want to stress myself out.

I already know procrastination is more about fear of success and self-sabotage than laziness. So I realize my actions spring from fear and actively push on despite it. Why? Because I know there will be something worthwhile on the other side.

So I chilled out for a few days because I'm lucky I have the time and space to do so. I kept up with the everyday things like housework and cooking but watched some Netflix, read a little more than usual, got outside every day and put together a new music playlist. And slowly but surely, I felt better about myself. I filled up the creative well, read a few inspiring newsletters and TED talks and followed some new artists on Instagram.

I think what made me go off the rails was the fact I was putting too much pressure on myself, obsessing with my to-do list and not giving myself time to rest. Last year I was on the road to some major burnout. I heap so much work and expectations onto myself that I cannot possibly maintain. It's the obsessive workaholic perfectionist control freak inside of me. I need to give myself space to breathe, think and reflect otherwise I'm just going to freeze up.

So let's take a deep breath together, pace ourselves, take breaks when needed and keep working on ourselves. Hopefully, this time the lesson has been learnt. Next week will be better.

2. What I'm reading

I recently finished a wonderfully inspiring book all about writing. It was short, precise and exactly what I needed to hear.

The book in question was Zen in the art of writing by Ray Bradbury.

Despite my ignorance of the fantastic worlds created by Bradbury, I found this slim volume of essays to be so satisfying and encouraging. It was as if Ray (yes, I feel we are on a first-name basis) was talking directly to me. And what a wonderful mentor the great, wise Zen master of writing Ray Bradbury is.

My little 130-page book is filled with highlights, notes and conversations with this extraordinary writer. Bradbury was born in 1920 and is considered one of the greatest science fiction and fantasy writers. He published his first short story at the age of 20 and published some 500 short stories, novels, plays, scripts and poems until his death in 2012 at the age of 91.

His biography is impressive for his output alone, literally a lifetime dedicated to the craft of writing. His writing is delightful, and his perspective on creativity is simple, fresh and highly motivating.

I have bought the first volume of his short stories, which is a whopping 956 pages. And I've put Fahrenheit 451 on my to-read list.

Some of my favourite takeaway quotes from Zen in the art of writing are:

"Every morning, I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spend the rest of the day putting the pieces together.

Now it's your turn.

Jump!"

"By living well, observing as you live, by reading well and observing as you read, you have fed your most original self. By training yourself in writing, repetitive exercise, imitation, and good example, you have made a clean, well-lit place to keep the muse. You have given her, him, whatever room to turn around in. And through training, you have relaxed enough not to stare discourteously when inspiration comes into the room."

'I was rich and I didn't know it. We all are rich and ignore the buried fact of accumulated wisdom.'

'Work. Relaxation. Don't think.'

'So stand aside, forget targets, let the characters, your fingers, body, blood and heart do. Contemplate not your navel then, but your subconscious with what Wordsworth called 'a wise passiveness.'

Coleridge puts it thus: 'The streaming nature of association, which thinking curbs and rudders.'

'If you do, I think you might easily find a new definition for work. And the word is LOVE.'

3. Common place quote

I have slowly become more and more obsessed with the concept of starting a 'commonplace' book. After seeing a few videos on Youtube, I bought yet another journal (like I need another one! I'm already obsessed with stationary and literally have three journals and notebooks going at the same time!! I have a bullet journal, a weekly and monthly planner for my blogs and newsletter and an art journal)

So a commonplace book was an idea developed in the middle ages, a way of compiling helpful quotes in the form of a personal booklet of information dedicated to whatever you read. In the middle ages, you could buy commonplace books that had already been compiled for you, with a small compendium from philosophy and other works of contemporary literature.

These days a commonplace book is where you jot down exciting quotes from whatever you are reading. I've always collected and highlighted both physical and electronic books, but I've never taken the time to put them all together in one place.

People like Ryan Holiday and Robert Greene have huge index card files dedicated to their commonplace books, which they have gone back to and used to write dozens of books. But they are pretty exceptional intellectuals and best-selling writers.

For now, my commonplace book is a plain aquamarine-coloured A5 Leuchtturm1917 journal, which has been a little bit forgotten since the beginning of the year as I generally write pretty much everything in my bullet journal (which is like a massive journal, to-do list, note taking system that I've adapted over the past few years).

The one quote I have written down from January is about creativity. I jotted it down from Brianna Wiest's viral book 101 Essays that will change the way you think:

'There is something inherently human about wanting to imprint, impress, craft, mould, form, paint, write and otherwise mould something abstract into that which is conceivable to someone else.'

4. What I am listening to

My music app of choice is Apple Music, simply because it has everything I've ever searched for on it. Even though it is annoying that you aren't able to share your playlists with anyone. I occasionally go over to Spotify to share playlists.

Anyhow, I have this one daily playlist I listen to every day. I call it simply 'a random playlist,' and I add and subtract from it according to my mood and whatever peaks my current interest.

This week I found myself adding a couple of Rihanna songs after her Superbowl Sunday performance; it reminded me of how awesome she is. I've never been a huge fan, but her songs have been in the background and on the radio for a couple of decades; it's hard to ignore them.

Also, after the British Music awards, I've been getting into Wet Leg, which has this incredible indy garage band kind of sound, with hella clever lyrics and two extraordinary female band leaders to follow.

And lastly, my pick for Valentine's Day is Lana Del Rey, particularly her beautifully morose love song, Summertime Sadness!

5. Poem of the week

I've been trying to read more poetry, in general, this year just because I love it so much. And also because I'm working on my own poetry again. I want to compile a couple of collections. 

Also, I saw a video of Ray Bradbury, where he suggested the best way to feed your writer's brain is to read an essay, a short story and a poem every day, which will be enough to broaden your mind.

While I haven't found the time to do all three together, I will read something daily.

This past month I've been spending with my beloved Romantics; I love the English Romantics and will always have something of theirs lying around. I have my little pocket vintage collection of Wordsworth with me, which I dip into when I have a moment.

It gives me chills to think these words have been around for many centuries and still have the same expressive quality and stunning mastery as when they were first written.

While I am ultimately intimidated by the great romantics, I am also reminded that their most beautiful poems come from a simple emotion or observation that is always concerned with truth and honesty.

Wordsworth's poem reflects on the grave site of the great Scottish poet Robert Burns on his tour of Scotland in 1803; seven years after his death, he still mourns the poet's loss.

I mourned with thousands, but as one

More deeply grieved, he was gone

Whose light I hailed when first it shone,

And showed my youth

How verse may build a princely throne

On humble truth.

6. What I've been working on

This week has been filled with distractions. 

But I'm proud to have kept up with my newsletter, preparing blog posts and other writing.

I have also begun redrafting my first poetry collection, A Babel of Words.

And I have been posting my collages daily this month as a part of Februllage 2023, an international art project that encourages you to post your art on Instagram according to single-word prompts. So it pushes you to make, create and post every day. It's been great to see many outstanding collage artists supporting one another. I have discovered so many new artists to follow, thanks to Februllage.

Go over to my artwork Instagram account to see my collages so far @isme_rdb.

7. Online obessions

I've been trying to limit my time on Social Media as I tend to waste too much time. I deleted Tik Tok because I was getting addicted to it. No, seriously, there is something that drags you into that app. There is some serious black magic psychological manipulation going on there.

I've been trying to find something online that benefits my brain and creativity. There are two people I have been following and reading along with on Substack who has been a great inspiration and enjoyment.

First, there is

Austin Kleon

, a wonderful mixture of creativity, writing and intellectual work ethic. Every week since 2013, he has given his readers a list of 10 things worth sharing, and it's always filled with the most exciting stuff; I look forward to it every week. His newsletter has an astounding 125,000 readers. The man is an absolute legend and a persistent creative; he's an inspiration!

And then secondly, I have become addicted to

Patti Smith

's cute little video posts she publishes weekly on Substack. The videos are a part of her free subscription and are filled with readings, observations and random thoughts from this living legend. I love how her personality comes out in every video. She seems like the sweetest, most down-to-earth and most honest creative creature to have walked the earth. She has been famous since the 1960s, and her work has an impressive scope and artistic connections from the Beat poets to Bruce Springsteen and everything in between. And it is so good to see that as she is now in her 7th decade, she still is creating new and exciting work. 

8. Image of the week

Here's what I've been doodling this week. Well not so much doodling, rather playing around with on my ipad. I’ve taught myself how to use Procreate over the past couple of years and have been using it to make digital collages. Lately I have been playing around with some old family photos and have made a few of these kind of collages which I’m thinking of turning into a little zine dedicated to some beautiful branches in my family tree.

9. Something from Sicily

This week in Sicily, it's been chilly and cloudy. Perhaps a reason for my slowness is that I've been spending less time outside. I simply have been feeling too cold. The temptation to stay inside in front of the heater has been too great. But I notice the difference in my mood. So I push myself to go out the door, put on my heavy winter coat and go. I play a little observation game as I go for my walks. What can I notice that is something so typically Sicilian. What kind of things do I love about this typically Sicilian place where I live.

 This week I noticed some cute little windows, tiny little terraces which make the most of the winter sunshine, and those cute window shudders found all over Italy. 

10   Carnevale 

This week is the last days of Carnevale in Italy.

I've been living on the boot for two decades, and I have never fully understood or enjoyed the mid-winter festivities of Carnevale. I'm a bit of a Carnevale scrooge.

Apart from Rio Carnival and Gay Pride, ironically celebrated in Australia and worldwide at around the same time as Carnevale, I've never really had much love for it.

I can appreciate the beautiful traditions in the ancient celebrations of Carnevale at Venice or places that dedicate years of planning in mechanical floats, costumes, choreography and parades like Viareggio, Acireale and Sciaccia in Sicily.

It's a mixture of pagan and early religious celebrations as the preparation period for Easter came closer when it used to be standard practice to fast, pray and give up meat during the Lenten period. Carnevale was the last big binge party before the sombre preparations. Literally, 'Carne' is 'meat' while 'vale' is 'going', so very simply put, bye to meat, and probably also to wine, food, drink and other festivities.

So everyone gets all the fun out of their systems before buckling down into Lent. Hence the dressing up (as if you are going to misbehave you will need a disguise), mischief-making, drinking, eating of fried sweets and maccherone, loads of music making and dancing. None of which is allowed during the solemn preparations for Easter.

These days Carnevale is more about letting your children have fun. It's a dreary time of year, it's cold and miserable, and school-aged children in Italy are still very much in the middle of their school year. So it's fun for them to get dressed up as their favourite superhero or Disney princess, get their own party at school or in the main square where they can play tricks like throwing around confetti, sprayable sticky streamers and eat their fill of sugar or honey covered deep fried sweets so typical of this festival.

I guess now that I am a parent to a teenager, those carefree Carnevale days are over.

I'd hate to be long-winded, so I will stop here.

This year I'm trying to share something worthwhile, well thought out and new here every week, perhaps more often if I get frisky or in some kind of karmic writing zone.

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Speak again soon.

With love and light from RDB

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